From the shadow into the light of the television crawled a creature on the floor ancient and small, a carpenter ant. From my post in bed I leaned over and tossed a shoe. Pop and it was dead. His body severed. One part of him laying motionless on the floor, the other part probably stuck to the shoe. I made a mental note to clean this up on my next bathroom trip.

Ten minutes later I saw movement on the floor in the area of the dead ant. Despite the danger to himself the ants buddy was attempting to lift the body. I know ants can lift five to ten times their own weight. So why did this ant falter?  I watched  as the ant carried his friend across the field of light- the danger zone-to home.

I asked myself: was it sadness that made him falter? Was this a loss so unbelievable that it took his strength away? I admired the buddies effort to bring dignity to this death.
And I speculate that it is much easier to function the way we humans do if we believe that the birds are only singing, a dog only barking, bees buzzing because it is their instinct to do so. But what if they think and feel and get mad just like us? It's really kind of frightening.

                         Finally the Six of Spades is complete- well just about. I have to spend the next day or so looking at it to see if it needs last minute cleanups. I have had a couple of months of snafus with my computer and I am behind where I want to be on my card series Magical Thinking. I am making my own deck of 52 cards as a fetish for hope. The Hearts are complete. I have the Ten, Five and Jack of Spades complete and sketches for the Queen and King are done. I have given each number a theme. The Six represent -Personality and Possibilities.

The series Magical Thinking will be on view in August of 2010 at the Arkell Museum in Canajoharie NY. Stop by if you get a chance...and tell your friends. imkirkwood